Knock-Knock- anyone out there?

Just saying hi! I am so bored tonight..... I finally feel decent *and* have no school work or anything to do..... that doesn't happen very often.....

The sickness is going around my house.... I just hope it misses Carter..... he seemed kinda sick to his stomach earlier, but he wasn't acting bad otherwise, so ...... now Adam is being all pathetic....

Dance recital went well.... I really miss it.... I was going to help some, but since I still wasn't feeling well, I just watched. I wish that I could teach again! I miss it so much! I miss that excitement of recital night when you are so involved in things! It kinda bummed me out that I am not that involved with it anymore..... I was going to try to pursue teaching next year, but with the baby coming and my school year winding down, I would be so out of it for most of the next dance year that it is pointless. And then if I take next year off, then I will be trying to start my career, I don't know if dance will ever happen for me again, but I guess I can just hope that I can have a daughter to live through vicariously LOL....

A few of the ladies at work think I could be anemic..... I dunno, I've never had health problems before LOL so I don't even know where to begin..... I don't know why this pregnancy has to be so damn hard! Carter wasn't easy, but damn he was a cake walk compared to this one! I am just exhausted all around....

I have the day off tomorrow, I think maybe dishes and finishing the garden.... maybe another nap if Carter allows..... we were thinking about going to my mom's, but its an hour away, and with Adam sick, I don't think it is going to happen.... sigh.... I love spending holidays away from the house but oh well!

Okay, well that is it for now.... night night!

Motivation

I am so not motivated right now..... maybe I'll feel like doing something tomorrow....

my second class for Summer trimester starts tomorrow, plus I have an assignment due for my math class tomorrow. And I don't wanna do any of it! But I will, I know I will, b/c I am as determined as ever to graduate at least cum laude, if not suma, or if I can really motivate myself, I could still get magma! I just feel like this is finally my time to do things right. I have slacked my whole college career, I have always had more important things, and I still do. The difference is, I am learning to balance all those things into a good equilibrium. I have about 11/12 classes left, and I know that I can accomplish As in almost all of them if I put my mind to it. I haven't thought that in a long time. I just assumed I would be that average student until I graduated, and I was okay with that. But Franklin was my clean slate. My other classes, they don't matter (or at least their grade's don't). I have a chance to start new, and I am going to use that to be the best.

Mother's Day (copied from my Facebook)

So tomorrow is Mother's Day.... I'm not much for Hallmark holidays, and neither is Adam, so I won't get anything. I won't be home anyways, I'll be leaving for FL! but I just can't believe it has been a year already....

last year at this time, I was bitching about labor, and wanting to see my baby. I was having my baby showers, and trying to get things ready for this little boy that I had never met.

And now my little boy is weeks from turning one! I just cannot believe how fast time flies.... he is not a baby anymore, he is a little person- a little person that I have to raise! How scary is that? Things were so much easier when he was a baby.... I didn't have to discipline him, fix him food (other than formula or breastmilk), fight him when he didn't (or did) want to do something.....

He has always had a personality, and I always knew he would be a little spitfire. Adam was for sure, and I was, but I was always too afraid to be too bad, so I didn't show it. Everyday, I see his personality more. I see him growing up, getting ready to explore the world. And I just can't believe that a year ago, he wasn't even here. I can't remember what it was like without him, I really can't!

And the funniest thing, that I have been thinking about lately, is just how I knew him. Before you have kids, you can't really imagine what they will be like or look like. And of course, I like everyone else, had no idea what to expect. But for some reason, he is exactly what I would have imagined our baby to look like! He is better than I was expecting, I never knew I would have such a cute or great baby boy. He is just everything I could have hoped for, but never thought I would get or deserve.

I have a lot of mood issues (even when I'm not pregnant, like I would remember what that felt like) but with Carter, they just are nonexistent. I don't yell at him out of anger- ever..... but I do at everyone else. He makes me a better person, when I walk in the door, I see him and I just melt.

You really just can't understand what it means to me a mom until it happens. I will never be the same again. And that, is all I could have possibly asked for for Mother's Day.