Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day (copied from my Facebook)

So tomorrow is Mother's Day.... I'm not much for Hallmark holidays, and neither is Adam, so I won't get anything. I won't be home anyways, I'll be leaving for FL! but I just can't believe it has been a year already....

last year at this time, I was bitching about labor, and wanting to see my baby. I was having my baby showers, and trying to get things ready for this little boy that I had never met.

And now my little boy is weeks from turning one! I just cannot believe how fast time flies.... he is not a baby anymore, he is a little person- a little person that I have to raise! How scary is that? Things were so much easier when he was a baby.... I didn't have to discipline him, fix him food (other than formula or breastmilk), fight him when he didn't (or did) want to do something.....

He has always had a personality, and I always knew he would be a little spitfire. Adam was for sure, and I was, but I was always too afraid to be too bad, so I didn't show it. Everyday, I see his personality more. I see him growing up, getting ready to explore the world. And I just can't believe that a year ago, he wasn't even here. I can't remember what it was like without him, I really can't!

And the funniest thing, that I have been thinking about lately, is just how I knew him. Before you have kids, you can't really imagine what they will be like or look like. And of course, I like everyone else, had no idea what to expect. But for some reason, he is exactly what I would have imagined our baby to look like! He is better than I was expecting, I never knew I would have such a cute or great baby boy. He is just everything I could have hoped for, but never thought I would get or deserve.

I have a lot of mood issues (even when I'm not pregnant, like I would remember what that felt like) but with Carter, they just are nonexistent. I don't yell at him out of anger- ever..... but I do at everyone else. He makes me a better person, when I walk in the door, I see him and I just melt.

You really just can't understand what it means to me a mom until it happens. I will never be the same again. And that, is all I could have possibly asked for for Mother's Day.

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